Monday, 25 June 2012

Banks and River Banks

Hi all, I'm here to have a moan/rant about my dreadful weekend!

It all started on a cold and wet saturday morning in late June.

Now, Cornwall is a very beautiful place to live in and far prettier than South East London from whence I hail, but, by golly its been bleak this last few months as rain, rain and more rain has beaten us all into submission and moreover the greyness which brings in itself a feeling of impending doom as each day of non-summer marches forward.

So, I've set my rather glum mood for saturday morning and what delights await me? Why the weekly shopping trip of course, time to go and battle with the hoards around Big Tescos.
 So off we trot, Mr Glam and I with my mood sitting like an extra passenger in the car.

I live in a small village so we have to drive 15 miles to Big Tescos and by the time we get there I'm realising that I should have eaten breakfast before we left as I don't do well without food, I'm sensitive to changes in my sugar levels and I'm now feeling very cross.
 And we hit Tescos along with the entire population of Cornwall it seemed. So I dodge the 'slow' trolley pushers, the 'screaming toddler' trolley pushers, the 'stop in the middle of the isle and stare aimlessly' (non) trolley pushers and the 'speeding around because they hate supermarkets as much as me' trolley pushers and I get crosser and crosser.

I get in the car clutching a sausage roll (which I detest) because it was the only thing I could think of to eat quickly and stuff my face hoping that my sugar levels would rise quickly-Why didn't I choose a banana or something equally as good for me?

Mr Glam starts the car, I start a panic attack-Woohoo marvellous, just what I need. So I breathe/ not-breathe and sweat all the way home.

We get home laden with mismatched food items bought in a hurry and without thought and struggle into the house. The phone is ringing....quick quick quick.

Nope,didn't get to it in time but they've left a message, its my bank-'please can you phone us urgently regarding possible fraud on your account'....WHAAAAT??

 So Yes, an hour later, after a very long call to a very helpful lady, I'm a lot poorer as my bank account has been rinsed by an unknown cyber thief in a faraway land. Yes, I will get my money bank but I was cross/anxious/glum before I got this new!


 I make a coffee and stare somewhat bleakly at the wall and out of the corner of my eye I see movement near the up to investigate and find we have new tenants-a plague of ANTS!

What next? Locusts? Frogs?  I haven't got any people to set free!!

 After dealing with a million little 'guests' for a veeery long time, I think I'll bake a cake, lovely, a nice bit of comfort food, a yummy whole orange cake.

And YES, once the whole cake mix was in the tin and I was bending down to pop it into the oven, I DID drop the tin and the tin DID land upside down and the cake mix WAS all over the floor..........

Sunday, wasn't quite as bad- The rain was chronic in the morning but had cleared up by 11.30 so Mr Glam and I headed off out with our two dogs, down to the river, it was beautiful, there was nobody around, the dogs swam-Oh how great to be alive.......As we were walking back and a large group of people were walking down the other side of the river, my oldest dog leapt in to splash around but, couldn't manage the steep bank to get back out....the other people stopped to watch and say Aaaah etc.

So I bend down at the edge of the river bank to help haul out Frank, the six stone German Shepherd....The river bank crumbles where I'm stood and I go sliding unceremoniously down the muddy bank and into the river!!! Frank hops out on his own leaving me sat up to my waist in the river, with a very red face. I had mud and stones inside my jeans and knickers and walked home feeling suitably stupid with a very sore bottom.

 Of course, England losing against Italy in the European Cup football ended my weekend in suitable style.

 It all glamour here..........

 Rant over. The End.

 Lila x

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